Sunday 20 July 2014

Working mum or Stay at home mum

Some days I just think I can not wait to go back to work. Ami has been screaming/ Little bear has been hanging of my leg and Pants has done nothing but moan, and there is a small part of me that says I can not wait to go back.

Those days are very few and I look forward to going back.

I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mum I went to work 1 month after having my first working in the evening for a few hours one night a week, and I loved it. It was my bit of freedom in the week.  

More recently I as it gets nearer to going back I just do not want to. I want to stay at home with my babies and not worry about the stress of childcare, Little bear being so young and the financial cost of it. I wouldn't mind but its a job I can't leave and just go back. If I left now I would have to go back to uni to get my registration back. I am stuck in a hard place. A place where I want whats best for my kids and the career that I worked so hard to get.

My idea is to see how it goes for the first few months and then if its not going well then maybe hand in the towel. I haven't failed, I gave it a try and it did not work out. I know if I did not pursue it then I would regret it in the future maybe. Or maybe I will miss the time with my little ones.

So for now the babies are in nursery for a day and a half, I work to put them in nursery but hopefully they will get some benefit of being round other children (one hopes)

Have you had a issue like this? What did you do? I am so confused and so torn any comments would be greatly appreciated.

9 comments:

  1. I left my job to stay at home with the kids (and to work from home too). I was a cardiac rehabilitation nurse, I'd done my time on the wards and worked up to clinical nurse specialist in a large London hospital. I didn't even consider giving it up to start with, as I knew the journey getting there wasn't easy, especially as those jobs don't come by very often. Nearer the time I was due to go back after my second maternity leave, I applied for part-time hours, but my application was rejected. And it was at that point that I knew I needed to find a way to not go back, and to find an alternative. We ended up having to give up our own home and move into my in-laws' house in order to live a comfortable life financially. We've sacrificed a lot, but the thought of leaving the kids full-time, five days per week, and separating them was too much heartache. I haven't looked back. If I have to return to nursing, I will have to reapply etc for my registration. Yes, it will be a ball-ache, but this situation is much better. Do what works for your family, and lose the things that you really don't need. In my case, I got rid of the job and our own home, but the benefits to all of that sacrifice far outweigh the costs. Good luck with whatever you decide to do! (o:

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    1. Thanks for Your point its such hard work, I left my first in nursery it was no problems, although then I didn't have a responsible job in was just for uni! Its hard when you have worked hard to get somewhere. I bet that's kind of fun in the long run living with in laws :)

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  2. I like your idea of giving it a trial run for a while to see if you like it. Then you'll know for certain if you've done the right thing. I never wanted to go back when z was about 6 months old. Then when he was about 10 months I really needed that break and something for me so I went part time and it's worked for us. Mostly :)

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    1. I wouldn't mind if it was part time, I think because 30hours was forced upon me I kind of feel the pressure a bit more!

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  3. It's a very individual decision. I went back when my first child was 9 months but hated it and couldn't settle. I went part time but it still didn't work for me. Eventually I decided to try and work from home self employed. It's hard and money is very tight but for me, absolutely the right decision and I have no regrets at all. But you have to work it out for yourself and whatever you decide will be right for you, taking time is a good idea I think.

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  4. I didn't contemplate not going back. For me, I'd go spare being at home all the time and I'd resent being seen as a housewife - my OH already moans I don't do any housework (I clean up after everyone elses mess but only when needed) so I'd be expected to be cleaning all the time, and I'd have no money to go out and do the things we wanted to do. But it's expensive on childcare and I've only got one. If we'd had a second it wouldn't have been an option and I'd have had to have given up work, especially once school runs came into play as my OH doesn't help with pick ups or the like.

    I think giving it a go is a good idea. Personally I think it's good that children have time away from their parents occasionally, and nursery is a great environment for socialising if you find one that's right for you.

    Maybe there's the chance to reduce hours later, maybe you'll love it when you're back. If it doesn't work out, you can always give it up.

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  5. At the end of the day it is what works for you. You can only do what is right for you at the time, it may change and that is ok. We heap so much guilt on ourselves as mum's no matter if we work or stay at home, it's not easy! I am a stay at home mum of two girls, my oldest has autism so she needs me more and I still feel guilty as I am not at work 'providing' for the family, but it works for us, I just wrestle with my own guilt! :) #sharewithme

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  6. I am in a bit of a similar situation. I have until April to let my employer know if I'm coming back, and some days I can't wait, and in others I feel like I never want to. I like your point regarding on giving it a trial run, it's something I'm considering as well. Thank you for sharing this. It shed some light on the options available to me.

    Maria
    cmntsblog.wordpress.com

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  7. I like you idea of trying it on a trial basis and if it doesn't work for you it doesn't work and you can try something else. But at least you know you tried it out. That's the only way to know if it will work. But at the end of the day either way will be ok for your kids. I think nursery teaches them social and educational skills and its good to be with other people not just parents all the time but I also think being at home with them is beneficial too. I work from home and my kids are in nursery one day a week so I am trying at the moment to do both and so far its working for us but like you said I will address it if it starts to not work. Follow your gut hunny. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme

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