If
you ever had to endure a school pick up it can be a ghastly place, some mums
thrive on this and get to the school a good hour before hand. I am not of this calibre
in fact those mums do not talk to me or ever have, I am not missing much there
conversations are thrilling by thrilling I mean the joy of which club, what their
child is top at and all that blah. Looking round the playground different mums
and dads have their own little gangs. So here is a few I have noticed in
my four years of school pickups. (Obviously some off these I have exaggerated the
school run isn’t all that exciting sometimes!)
The Over Eager Gossipers
These
mums know every low down; including every school coffee morning and these are
the highlights. Getting to the school at 2:30pm is late and they will have
missed out on what’s going on with the latest gossip. They are first to sign up
for parents evenings and are loud. Talking to new parents is a No No stick to familiarity.
The lonesome Parent
Usually
rocking up to the school in trendy clothes and headphones, other parents giving
them the eye as they are secretly jealous. They stand on their own usually on their
phones and rush off before getting collared for play dates. They stand apart
and sometimes will fake a phone call to get away from clingy mum.
Clingy Bragger Mum
“My
child is reading at this level, they are top at this top of that” Yes thank you
for the update. You know fair well my child is not doing as well but you tell
me every time you see me how well they are doing. You compare after school
clubs and wonder why my child is not in 15 clubs a week. These mums do not listen
they just vent be wary DO NOT ENGAGE CONVERSATIONS.
Forever Late Mums and Dads (that’s my husband)
The
school time never changes yet there child is the last in the class and the last
to be picked up. Time management is not an issue and it beats all the playground
drama. The only problem is parking they have to park so far away it means they
are even later. It’s a no win situation, they are on time for the first week of
every term and it’s a good term if they haven’t had a phone call from the
school wondering where they are or worse signed in late!
Forgetful Mum
Always
living in unorganised chaos this mum would forget her head if it was not
screwed on. Forever asking Facebook what’s happening as have lost the original letter.
Often there child is the only one in school uniform on trips and dressing up
days. They are forever getting laughed at in the playground for the antics of
previous terms. They get great delight if they get the right dress up day and a
packed lunch in the right bag too.
Tired Nan
Poor
old Nan after dealing with a small child all day they have to endure the playground
to get more children. They look haggard and like they need a good hug. Often
employed 5 days a week full time to keep their family happy. They are tired but
friendly (well some there are a few too tired ones who bite easily be careful).
The Young Mother
Often
alone as not included in the over eagers. Usually friendly and happy for a bit
of conversation. Scared to talk for the fear
of judgement from other parents. Sometimes get the Evil eye as classed as not
old enough to have a school age child. Will talk to other young parents if have
the confidence. Or you can get the opposite young mother where they are very in
your face.
The Child Chaser
This
Mum or Dad have their hands full, found every pick up to be chasing a child or
even two. The double pushchair is heavy and laden with bits to keep small
children contained whilst waiting for older siblings to come out of school,
none of which works and they either have the embarrassment of a screaming child
(The ultimate school ground shame) or looking like the caring free parent.
Glamour Mums
They
roll up to the school hair done face full of makeup, make you want to cry as
you look at your stained leggings. They may even sport high heels and have a
little dog. Other parents do not stand too close for fear of looking frumpy.
Never seen in the rain and the first to wear summer dresses at the smallest
glimpse of sun.
The Dads
Often
wondering why they are doing the school run, scanning the playground for other
Dads to talk too. Often found wearing sports gear and looking all masculine.
Are the first to get out of the playground and will always cave into the ice
cream man after school.
The PJ Mum
Wearing
an onesie morning and afternoon, they never get changed and do not care. They
are free of day to day clothes and live in the comfort of PJS. Usually part of
the over eagers and seeing onesie and high heels is a new fashion trend in the playground.
The Outsiders
Usually
in pairs or on own will never be in a pack. Observe other parents and wonder
where they fit in. They then have a laugh and post it online on blogs (what
loser would do that).
School
Playgrounds are funny places, maybe it’s the inner school child that comes out
again. It’s a funny place to be but somewhere you have to otherwise you will
get into trouble. I look forward to secondary school and my child making their
own way home. Or being like the secondary school car mums.
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