It was a hard journey with highs and lows but I am so proud I made it to six months. Nights crying feeling so isolated and low to loving the feeling of feeding my little baby. I never planned to last this long but I have made it. When Little bear was born I said to my mum I cant see why people wouldn't want to breast feed, that rush of love I got when feeding him for the first time, I just can't describe it.
I haven't found it easy, maybe the lack of sleep and looking after a toddler has been hard work at times. Also extremely isolating some nights I have sat with a baby who wont stop feeding wondering what I was doing, then Little bear not taking a bottle and feeling like I had no choice but to it was difficult, but out of that such moments of joy.
Seeing my baby growing and thriving has been elating. I loved to watch him feeding always so beautiful. Seeing him reach out for me always filled me with love, holding his little hands and kissing his head. Such a wonderful moment.
Bottle feeding has brought me some freedom I needed, means my husband can get up or means I can go out for a few hours when things get on top of me. We also have more of a routine rather than just feeding him all the time. He is a hungry boy and my milk was never enough he was always cross as the flow wasnt as strong as he would liked.
So here we are my little baby growing up ever so fast I am trying desperately to hold on to him being a baby but its not working.