Monday 8 December 2014

I am not the Mum Of a Bully

Today my sister picked up my son to find a Nan at the school gate saying "so thats the one Bullying you!" On hearing this my heart sank. Every part of me wants this not to be the case, but I know there is a chance it is true.

You see no Mum wants there child to be mean, No mum wants there child to be talked about and the one other parents are warned against. It makes me rather sad to hear it. My Son has always been the first to get into trouble, he is loud and confidant and says what he thinks, he has no fear of authority and does not understand the consequences of his actions. I wonder where and how he has turned out sometimes so head strong as I am so shy. I know that this attitude will be great when he is older but now has a few teething years trying to mature.

I make excuses I do not want to be a failing mum. I feel like I have let my son down, maybe I have been too laid back with him. not spend enough time together as a family. I just do not know. Its horrible because this  Nan is a playground regular with a loud voice and it will be all over the playground in no time and then the judgy looks. Not that I mind I do not care what people think but I do care what they think of my son. Its hard so very hard.

I do not know what to do, I made him write a card and say sorry he did not want to he said the boy is mean to him all the time but I said he needed to. We do not behave like that and to try to get him to see we were upset with him. See it was not just this I had two phone calls from the school today too, one about match attacks and stealing cards and another him saying he has been watching 18 films and playing call of duty. So all in all not a great day for him today.

I am not the mum of a bully I refuse to accept that. He is not! He is a good hyper good spirited boy and I wont have viscous rumors spread round. Its not on and quite frankly the Nan should have had a word with me or the teacher rather than shouting it out at him at the school gates. I shall give the school a call to find out what happened and I bet its nothing. I really hope it is. I am a firm believer of getting things sorted out in school, I think as soon as the parents get involved it gets complicated, I want my son to be able to sort things out with out me. Its worse for the other parent and I wish that people would see that. Like when your at soft play and some kid hits yours, I feel sorry for the parent its so embarrassing for them. Not everyone things like this though. Its tough.

So if you have any advice on a 8 year old boy and how I can help, what can make me feel like I am going intthe right track please let me know?

8 comments:

  1. I think the word bully is bandied around too much these days. You're son sounds just like my nephew who is a very kind hearted, thoughtful boy who gets over excited. I think you're right to phone the school, if its happened in school they should be dealing with it. Please listen to what your son says though, spirited boys do tend to get the blame for everything, even when they've done nothing wrong. I've worked with children for 14 years and seen this many times.
    It's just as hard parenting the perpetrator than the victim sometimes!
    good luck
    x

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    1. Thanks I am sure its nothing I just hate the way the Nan was outside the school! Im on a long day so will have to find out via phone and get my hubby to do the school pick up incase!

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  2. Bless you, I'm sure you're a brilliant mum - please don't blame yourself! You're right though, that Nan shouldn't have shouted that across the playground at your son. Big hugs x

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  3. My worst nightmare as a mum of a 7 year old. I think people aren't actually aware of what bullying is and the word is used too often. Have you spoken to his teacher. The nan definitely should not be saying that for everyone to hear in the playground! X

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    1. yeah I agree I spoke to the teachers who were un aware, It turned out my son had make a joke when he fell over and the class laughed, Hardly bullying but oh well!

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  4. Oh hunny I don't know what to say as my kids are still so little but I can imagine what you are feeling no one wants to have the bully child. The Nan shouldn't have said it at the gates either that's horrible innocent until proven guilty does she not know. Rude. I think it's best to speak to the school though and find out. Definitely. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me Happy Holidays! #sharewithme

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    1. yeah it ended up being nothing which is rather annoying. Thankfully I managed to avoid most this weeks school runs due to work lol I not good with conflict!

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