Recently I have been looking at my children in a new way. Dont get me wrong I have always loved but them but recently it has really hit home how special they are. I don't know maybe getting caught up with three children took its hold a bit? I am not sure but tonight my eldest asked me to tuck him into bed. He is nearly nine and sometimes is far to cool for this, but as I did so and kissed him on his head I realise dI hadn't kissed him for a long time. I tell him I love him but when did I last kiss him. When did this slip, why does it seem uncomfortable to hug him? I don't want that.
I want him to hug me again like he did when he was a toddler. Was it having more children that let this slip. I really didn't mean it to stop, I really didn't. It makes me sad and really made me think I need to make much more of an effort. So when he asked me to tuck him I kissed him lots and lots. I thought he would push me away but no he loved it. His smile was so wide. You see for nearly nine he is my little boy.
My little boy who may act so old but he will always be my boy. My boy that brings me so much joy. My boy who makes me so so proud. My boy who may be a bot of a handful at times but I know he will do well in life. He is so unique so special. I don't want to miss out on this, I don't want him to grow up thinking he can't cuddle his mum. You see thats how my parents were, I do not remember cuddling them and I don't want that for mine.
My boy is growing up and needs to be investing in, I really hope I don't fail him. We are trying our hardest with him, trying to keep him involved, not getting stuck in toddler mayhem.
Its such a special time this raising kids. Although we don't feel it its such an massive privilege to be a parent. I always remind myself that I am more than blessed with my little children.