This is not a topic I speak about alot, maybe a part of me is embarrassed or worried what people may think, but I am getting to the stage of life where I actually not too fussed what people think. So here is my little story of how my life got twisted up side down... hang on I am not Fresh Prince, No I was just a normal teen who really had no clue.
They say that teen mothers is a trends in families, my mum was nearly 30 when she had me so I did not copy too much. As a teenager I had such low self esteem, I thought I was ugly and fat and that I would die alone. These were far from it and after a boyfriend who told me these I was a full time low. I met my eldest Sons dad when I was 15 and we dated for a few months. Then one month I realised I had missed my period and little did I know who much that would change the course of my life.
|Back in the days of camera flip phones and no instagram|
I had no clue what a baby would entail or what I would need. I kept it quiet as long as I could and then had to tell my mum and dad. At the ripe old age of 16 sitting down with my parents was a hard thing to do but I carried on, my family in true style ignored it for awhile until I was massive. My mum brought me lots of maternity clothes and off I went getting bigger and bigger. I also had awful fluid retention and was massive (this is why there is no pictures of me when Pants was born I seriously was the size of a house). In this time I lost most my friends they were busy with life and I was stuck with Family and partner at the time. I went along to pre natal groups but alot of the Mums did not talk to me. I was too young and they just ignored me. I remember it being hard sometimes people often so judgmental and I always felt like I had to justify my self all the time.
The time came to have my little baby and after waiting 7 days overdue and 24 hours in labour I had Pants. The labour I can not remember any off it but knew it was long. I did not feel love straight away I suddenly felt a huge overwhelming sense of pressure. I felt as if I would never be on my own again. The responsibility hit me very hard and all of a sudden I was scared. Scared I would muck it up, scared I would never have freedom again. I was 17 no college qualification just a waitress. It was then I knew I could not do nothing in my life I needed to get a career show my son to be a better person His Dad sadly never grew up and for that reason we split and then I was on my own. I had my family and my mum was a massive help, the first few nights she sat up with me with a colicy baby who did not sleep and brought things for me when I needed it. She was really amazing.
|A teenage me and my Pants|
I lived with my mum for a few years whilst I got on my feet, I went back to being a waitress a month after Pants being born a few hours a night just to get a little cash, I did not claim anything except child benefit and relied on my mum. I had no clue and probs would have wasted the money anyway but least I earned the milk and nappy money and that some how justified my decision. I then started university at 18 studying for 6 years to become a nurse. Meeting my husband on the way and having two more children. I would not have had it better if I tried.
Its funny really looking back, for years I suffered this judgement feelings. Even now people look at me with the babies and think I am a teenager in trouble. For years I would always bring into the conversation I was a nurse and married because did not want people to think bad of me, but now I think so what. You know if I did not have a baby at 17 I would not have my life now. I am blessed beyond belief and have done so much more than I ever imagined. My Son saved my life from heading nowhere and helped me find myself. I then joined a church where for the fiist time since becoming a mother people accepted me for me and there the empty feeling was filled in. My hard layers where brought down and I learned to accept love and to not care if people judge me. I am loved and thats so so amazing. So if you may think some body is young you never know what life has in store, having a baby brought me determination that I did not have before. I love being a mum I know no different really.
aww loved reading your story and I think you and your mum sound like amazing mums! Well done on bringing up that lovely little boy and you should be very proud of how well you have doneReplyDelete
I can really relate. I was 15 when I found out I was pregnant with P1. I'm also really small so look younger anyway, I didn't go to antenatal classes from fear of being judged. I was still at school too. Doing my GSCEs. But now, a husband and two more daughters later, I'm glad I did this young.ReplyDelete
It's great that you've overcome all the people who put you down and judged you and proved you can do it. You should be proud of the life you've made for yourself and pants as well as Ami and Little Bear. Popping in from Magic Moments.ReplyDelete
I love your story and I just love your mother! I think that you did well. I want to call it a happy ending but I think life is just beginning so lets call it a happy beginning to everything =) #magicmomentsReplyDelete
awww honey i can relate to this, I am glad you feel more confident in yourself! .. you ought to be! being a mum is massively hard work and you rock at it lovely xReplyDelete
thanks for linking up with #MagicMoments
Such an amazing story :) I feel a similar way. I am not a teen mum, I was 20 when I had my first and now at 26 I have three under 6. Everytime we are out and about I 'feel' the stares and I will always comment to the children "Shall we go see Daddy?" Or "Daddy is at work today isn't he" Just to make those stares seem less judging somehow.ReplyDelete
Such a lovely story - you have done a wonderful job xx #magicmomentsReplyDelete
Lovely story to read. I am/was an older teen mum (had my little girl at 19) but can empathise with feeling judged a lot; the stares are the worst sometimes. You've done a brilliant job of proving them wrong!ReplyDelete
What a beautiful story hunny and you have done an amazing job!!! I am so proud of you and you should be too and forget those judging. I was just talking on twitter about how as women and especially mothers we all should supporting and helping each other and not judging. Not matter what our story is we all want to care for our children the best way we know how. Which ever way that is and at whatever age. You are so strong and amazing darling. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithmeReplyDelete
Breaks my heart that you did not feel the love at Mum's groups. I'll say what they should have - you're amazing! xReplyDelete
Fabulous post ! really heartfelt ! thank you for sharing this ! so easy for people to judge young mums when actually they can be some of the most fantastic mothers around! no one has the right to judge just because someone is young ! #mummybloggersReplyDelete
What an amazing story. You've come so far and you've done it all your own way. Nobody has any right to judge you (or anyone else), no wonder you're proud of yourself.ReplyDelete
Popping over fromLoud 'n' Proud.
Great story! So lovely that you had family support. I do think people can be too judgmental, but I think sometimes people are a bit nervous about approaching someone a very much different age to them. Well done on making a success of your life.ReplyDelete
Well done you. You have every right to be hugely loud 'n' proud today. Thank you for sharing your story. xReplyDelete
Lovely story and great to read about it. Having a baby is hard work at any age and must have been scary as a teenager but sounds like you did amazingly well and worked hard to build a life for yourself and for pants. Wonderful that you had such a supportive family too and you definitely deserve to be #loudnproud xxReplyDelete
Your honesty is inspiring. I know this can't have been easy to write. Thanks for sharing your story :-)ReplyDelete
I never share the fact that I was a 'teen mum' too. You really have inspired me by sharing your story. I always get scared to reveal my age and my daughter's age because I know people would do the calcution. I was 17 when I got pregnant but 18 when I had my first. Like you I felt embarrassed with no one around.ReplyDelete
Oh bless you. What a wonderful story. Just shows that there are alot of teen mums who have done a brilliant job. Well done xReplyDelete
thanks love your blog.ReplyDelete
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