Monday, 30 March 2015

The School Mum Playground Gang



If you ever had to endure a school pick up it can be a ghastly place, some mums thrive on this and get to the school a good hour before hand. I am not of this calibre in fact those mums do not talk to me or ever have, I am not missing much there conversations are thrilling by thrilling I mean the joy of which club, what their child is top at and all that blah. Looking round the playground different mums and dads have their own little gangs. So here is a few I have noticed in my four years of school pickups. (Obviously some off these I have exaggerated the school run isn’t all that exciting sometimes!)

The Over Eager Gossipers
These mums know every low down; including every school coffee morning and these are the highlights. Getting to the school at 2:30pm is late and they will have missed out on what’s going on with the latest gossip. They are first to sign up for parents evenings and are loud. Talking to new parents is a No No stick to familiarity.

The lonesome Parent
Usually rocking up to the school in trendy clothes and headphones, other parents giving them the eye as they are secretly jealous. They stand on their own usually on their phones and rush off before getting collared for play dates. They stand apart and sometimes will fake a phone call to get away from clingy mum.

Clingy Bragger Mum
“My child is reading at this level, they are top at this top of that” Yes thank you for the update. You know fair well my child is not doing as well but you tell me every time you see me how well they are doing. You compare after school clubs and wonder why my child is not in 15 clubs a week. These mums do not listen they just vent be wary DO NOT ENGAGE CONVERSATIONS.


Forever Late Mums and Dads (that’s my husband)
The school time never changes yet there child is the last in the class and the last to be picked up. Time management is not an issue and it beats all the playground drama. The only problem is parking they have to park so far away it means they are even later. It’s a no win situation, they are on time for the first week of every term and it’s a good term if they haven’t had a phone call from the school wondering where they are or worse signed in late!

Forgetful Mum
Always living in unorganised chaos this mum would forget her head if it was not screwed on. Forever asking Facebook what’s happening as have lost the original letter. Often there child is the only one in school uniform on trips and dressing up days. They are forever getting laughed at in the playground for the antics of previous terms. They get great delight if they get the right dress up day and a packed lunch in the right bag too.

Tired Nan
Poor old Nan after dealing with a small child all day they have to endure the playground to get more children. They look haggard and like they need a good hug. Often employed 5 days a week full time to keep their family happy. They are tired but friendly (well some there are a few too tired ones who bite easily be careful).

The Young Mother
Often alone as not included in the over eagers. Usually friendly and happy for a bit of conversation.  Scared to talk for the fear of judgement from other parents. Sometimes get the Evil eye as classed as not old enough to have a school age child. Will talk to other young parents if have the confidence. Or you can get the opposite young mother where they are very in your face.

The Child Chaser
This Mum or Dad have their hands full, found every pick up to be chasing a child or even two. The double pushchair is heavy and laden with bits to keep small children contained whilst waiting for older siblings to come out of school, none of which works and they either have the embarrassment of a screaming child (The ultimate school ground shame) or looking like the caring free parent.

Glamour Mums
They roll up to the school hair done face full of makeup, make you want to cry as you look at your stained leggings. They may even sport high heels and have a little dog. Other parents do not stand too close for fear of looking frumpy. Never seen in the rain and the first to wear summer dresses at the smallest glimpse of sun.

The Dads
Often wondering why they are doing the school run, scanning the playground for other Dads to talk too. Often found wearing sports gear and looking all masculine. Are the first to get out of the playground and will always cave into the ice cream man after school.

The PJ Mum
Wearing an onesie morning and afternoon, they never get changed and do not care. They are free of day to day clothes and live in the comfort of PJS. Usually part of the over eagers and seeing onesie and high heels is a new fashion trend in the playground.

The Outsiders
Usually in pairs or on own will never be in a pack. Observe other parents and wonder where they fit in. They then have a laugh and post it online on blogs (what loser would do that).


School Playgrounds are funny places, maybe it’s the inner school child that comes out again. It’s a funny place to be but somewhere you have to otherwise you will get into trouble. I look forward to secondary school and my child making their own way home. Or being like the secondary school car mums. 

36 comments:

  1. I'm a mix between glamour mum and the better version of a young mum. Great post and very true!

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  2. I'm a mix between the young mum (the nice one haha) and the lonesome parent!
    A really great post and an interesting read, it is very true. I hope one day to make some good friends that I have met on the playground waiting for the school pick up.

    thank you for linking up to #mummymonday - Love Gemma - host xo
    www.sunshineonacloudyday.co.uk

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  3. Love this! I'm the lonesome parent (but with not-so-trendy clothes), hiding behind my phone because I don't want to hear how much better my children's peers are doing or to have to answer awkward questions. Our eldest comes out early with her LSA, because the end-of-day scramble for bags and coats is too much for her to handle. That gets a few stares from people who don't know why. Our two are adopted and come with a lot of extra needs because of their early experiences. I can't be doing with playdates (which my children struggle with) or academic comparisons, let alone dressing up for the school run!

    (Visiting from the #mummybloggers link-up.)

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  4. Very funny. I think I've been more than one of those types of mums over the last 7 years!! #mummymonday

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  5. this made me giggle as I have seen more or less every type of mum at my sons school.Im the lonesome with my earphones in lol

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  6. I'd say it's pretty similar in France except there is NEVER anyone in PJs or a onesie (which don't even exist in France!). Everyone makes an effort.

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  7. haha im the lonesome mum although sometimes i do put my phone in my pocket and try to talk to some depending on how my mood is

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  8. The school runs are still good couple of years away, but I can already picture myself as the lonesome mum ;)

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  9. Love this, so true and funny. Mine is only 6 months old at the moment so I have all of this to come but I know friends who have described similar senarios. Jen XOXO

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  10. Im none of these yet but I did cackle at some of them x

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  11. So very true! We've just started at a new school so I'm keenly watching the other moms to see what type they are. Roll on when they all at high school!

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  12. Oh gosh - this is so true, I have written something similar lol. I can't be bothered. I'm a get there in time to get the 2 babies out then grab the two big kids and go kind of girl #bigfatlinky

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  13. Haha what a great post, who knew that there was so many different types of Mums in the playground.

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  14. Ha ha this is great! School starts this September for our household, and I have a feeling I'm going to be 'Forgetful Mum'! xx

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  15. They are indeed very funny places and I can relate to lots of these, never seen a PJ mum though! lol Mich x

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  16. Hahaha I am an outsider too - maybe it's a trait of bloggers! ;)

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  17. I think I'm a cross between 'lonesome' and 'forever late'.....they are kind of intertwined for a reason - mainly because I'm also 'forgetful'! Great post :)

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  18. Great post. Although I don't fall into the dad category. I often tried to talk to mums as there weren't any dad's (Although I did scam for them) I was in the "we won't really talk or acknowledged him because he doesn't pick his child up often" group. It was always an awkward and uncomfortable moment. And im far from masculine lol I do like how you grouped the mums though. Think its very true.#bigfatlinky

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  19. I love this - I rarely do the school pick up so when I do I think I'm the lonesome parent - that 's pretty cool. My stay at home husband is a terrible combo of the forgetful parent and the forever late - it's a horrific combo!
    Great post :)

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  20. I'm a total mix - sometimes late, sometimes forgetful, not really a loner but I do try and get in and out with minimum interaction!!

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  21. Hehe I'm totally a mix between forgetful, late and possibly outsider

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  22. I thought that I am the lonesome one but the end fit me better, I never fit in there so I tend to go late so I wont need to talk to the other mothers. #sharewithme

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  23. Haha love this list, i think i fall inbetween the loner parent and the always late parent, either way not the teachers favourite parent! x

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  24. I am on the school PFA and notice that a lot of mums ignore me now..........I did have to chuckle at one that was openly slagging us off and didn't realise who I was #awkward

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  25. I've found the dads often look a bit lost in the playground.

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  26. After many many years pf school drop offs I have it sorted...I drop my son to school really really early and pick up after the official finish time (don't worry it is allowed to avoid traffic congestion) :)

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  27. I hate the school run, I was the 'drop and go' parent first time round. Hopefully this time round I'll be a little more comfortable in my own skin

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  28. we've not started school yet but I'm totally going to be the forgetful one! x

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  29. Oh I have all this to look forward to or be afraid of in September when Buba starts school. Ahhh why can't there just be one group? Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. Happy Easter! #sharewithme

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  30. I will probably be lonesome Mum too but that's still a long way ;) Great post! x

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  31. Haha I think I'm the outsider. Whenever we've been to pick up my stepdaughter we just stand on our own with the occasional smile and nod at a parent we recognise. Then we rush off and avoid everyone!

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  32. Having done many, many years as an outsider, at this moment in time I am happily the mum who sits at home and waits for all her brood to arrive home by bus or walking. The youngest will be going to school next year so I'm sure I will resume my role once again lol :) Thanks for linking up with #SundayStars x

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  33. Hello, Great post! I love the idea of faking a phone call - I'm a teacher and that is a dead cert for some parents, especially if they know I want to tell them something they don't want to hear! Alice x Http://nipperandtyke.wordpress.com

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  34. I'm the lonesome parent one day a week but luckily the other 4 day I work in my daughters school so she comes into my classroom so I avoid the playground 😀

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  35. Come September, I'll be the late one (on a Friday), or the one who doesn't turn up because said child will be transported off to after school club at the nursery by another mum! Thankfully I know quite a few of the mums already from nursery and the village/family, so I hope I won't be the outside on the odd occasion I do actually make it to pick ups

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  36. Great post! I am forgetful Mum, at least I think I am? ...I cant remember.

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