Some days I just think I can not wait to go back to work. Ami has been screaming/ Little bear has been hanging of my leg and Pants has done nothing but moan, and there is a small part of me that says I can not wait to go back.
Those days are very few and I look forward to going back.
I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mum I went to work 1 month after having my first working in the evening for a few hours one night a week, and I loved it. It was my bit of freedom in the week.
More recently I as it gets nearer to going back I just do not want to. I want to stay at home with my babies and not worry about the stress of childcare, Little bear being so young and the financial cost of it. I wouldn't mind but its a job I can't leave and just go back. If I left now I would have to go back to uni to get my registration back. I am stuck in a hard place. A place where I want whats best for my kids and the career that I worked so hard to get.
My idea is to see how it goes for the first few months and then if its not going well then maybe hand in the towel. I haven't failed, I gave it a try and it did not work out. I know if I did not pursue it then I would regret it in the future maybe. Or maybe I will miss the time with my little ones.
So for now the babies are in nursery for a day and a half, I work to put them in nursery but hopefully they will get some benefit of being round other children (one hopes)
Have you had a issue like this? What did you do? I am so confused and so torn any comments would be greatly appreciated.