Going back to work

The count down is on. I will be back to work in a few weeks ok four weeks to be exact. Am I a bit scared... YES! Well not scared more like a someone who works in a responsible job then has 2 years off then goes back to the expectation that I know what I am doing kind of scared. A few months ago I was happy to give it all up and become a stay at home mum but as I get nearer to going back I am getting a bit happier.

The babies who will be going to nursery for a bit the rest with dad so I know they will be ok. It does make me a bit sad to see Little Bear going to nursery he will be 10 months and will look far too small. he is such a mummy's boy (a major mummy's boy cries and crawls after me everytime I leave the room or a foot away from him). Ami I know she will be fine she is so head strong she will have them round her finger in no time. Also my eldest I haven't a clue whats going to happen with him after school clubs and all that jazz I suppose.

So now its time to get my head in gear, try and force two years of baby mambo jambo out of this brain and become that professional lady thats hiding well in my brain. The one who gets a lunch break and has a wee in peace, oh the joys of being a working mum.

I am looking forward to finding me again in the new working roll, will be an adventure so many positives and so many negatives hopefully will find the right balance in it all.

If you have any tips for going back to work please share!

Working mum or Stay at home mum

Some days I just think I can not wait to go back to work. Ami has been screaming/ Little bear has been hanging of my leg and Pants has done nothing but moan, and there is a small part of me that says I can not wait to go back.

Those days are very few and I look forward to going back.

I never thought I would want to be a stay at home mum I went to work 1 month after having my first working in the evening for a few hours one night a week, and I loved it. It was my bit of freedom in the week.  

More recently I as it gets nearer to going back I just do not want to. I want to stay at home with my babies and not worry about the stress of childcare, Little bear being so young and the financial cost of it. I wouldn't mind but its a job I can't leave and just go back. If I left now I would have to go back to uni to get my registration back. I am stuck in a hard place. A place where I want whats best for my kids and the career that I worked so hard to get.

My idea is to see how it goes for the first few months and then if its not going well then maybe hand in the towel. I haven't failed, I gave it a try and it did not work out. I know if I did not pursue it then I would regret it in the future maybe. Or maybe I will miss the time with my little ones.

So for now the babies are in nursery for a day and a half, I work to put them in nursery but hopefully they will get some benefit of being round other children (one hopes)

Have you had a issue like this? What did you do? I am so confused and so torn any comments would be greatly appreciated.