This is a very personal post from me so please be patient as I muddle through this post. You see I became a mum at the young age of 17 and since then I have tried to break every stigma off being a teen mum. I forced my self through university and working along side that, I missed so many important things and tried to be a better role model for my son. I wanted life to be different I wanted a different circumstance. I remember reading alot of things in the media and this was one I could never really get over:
Children of young mums are likely to have behavioural problems growing up.
I have tried for years to ignore this, not let it take hold. My son who is now nine is not always the perfect behaved child and often far from it. You see when your a young teen mum there is a lot of judgement upon you, its hard to go to toddler groups especially with an hyperactive child. You feel peoples eyes are on you and the way you parent. Thankfully I have grown out of this and now am with two more children later a bit more relaxed with that side of it all.
Lately the term special needs has been coming up, I for one knows how this feels it was certainly my own primary school experience sitting on the "special" table because I couldn't write well or work like the other kids. It turned out I was dyslexia and dispraxic something that didn't get picked up till I was at uni. They first mentioned ADHD when my son was in reception, but then I ignored it. Said I didn't want my child labelled and just said it was his way of adjusting to school. As the years went on he settled and seemed to be coming along well. It wasn't till the end of year 3 term where everything just seemed to be falling apart.
The school called me in for a meeting to discuss my Sons behaviour and how they suspected something, they said he was a bright child who if he carries on the way he is will fall behind. Was such a massive blow there was me in a bubble thinking he was doing ok then they drop all this on me. My son who at home isn't always an angel but is lovely turns out to be this disruptive, rude and uninterested child. See my son he is very bright he isn't a fool. It made my heart sink and the next few steps were put into place regarding assessment of hid behaviour.
Nothing much has come since then just an observation from the school. His behaviour just seems to be getting more and more odd, he can't seem to control his emotions. Sometimes now at home, its like he can't calm down always on the go, never stimulated unless playing a video game. He can be mean to kids and unsympathetic to others. It makes me wonder where my little boy has gone? how have I let him grow up like this? I have tried everything to try and stop it. We get regular phone calls and I dread school pick ups. Its an tough time at the moment. See he is pleasant at home and it pains me. I want to shake him tell him he is making all the wrong choices, I want to tell him how much it saddens me. I want to tell him he has such an amazing future ahead. Its hard. really hard.
The school think its possibly aspergers syndrome / adhd which I am happy to accept but its taking so long to sort anything out. I want the help there that he so needs. I want to get the phone calls for good behaviour. He defiantly has it in him but he can not control it. They keep him at computer tie at lunchtime now too, like an caged animal. It makes me feel so sad, even writing this now. He hates school and we are torn.
Until then we continue as we are, praising him for the good. Pulling out the gold in him. Encouraging the best bits. Trying to not be so disheartened on the bad days and enjoying the good.
If you have any experience in this then please let me know what your experiences are?
I really really feel for you. It sounds a similar scenario to what we went through with my son. It is a tough battle to fight and we shouldn't have to fight but sadly we do as so many schools just don't 'get it'. The delays just makes things so hard to deal with on a day to day basis too. I wish there was a magic wand to wave to get things sorted for you. I know the waiting lists are long but worth trying to get an occupational therapy referral too - with J they thought it was ADHD to start with, turned out to be aspergers but things didn't improve without OT input as he had major sensory issues (which often go alongside Aspergers). I keep telling myself I need to document some of our lessons learnt as i come across so many people in a similar situation to what we went through - but the memories are still painful for us all these years later. thinking of you and get in touch if you need to chat or get things of your chest. xReplyDelete
I don't have any first hand experience of this but one of my nephew's has Asperger's. The best thing to happen for him was when he went to a special school instead of mainstream education, and he's now flourishing. Not sure that helps though...good luck whatever happens x #bestandworstReplyDelete
I really feel for you. Have you got a diagnosis from medical professionals or are you going through the process at the moment? Make sure your local authority is giving you all the help and support for you and your son. I have friends in similar positions- it's long and lots of paperwork but worth it. All the best. You will get there. #bestandworstReplyDelete
Like crummy mummy I don't have any first hand experience but I think the best thing would be to work alongside the school and just hope that he is supported. I will keep my fingers crossed. Thanks for linking up! #bestandworstReplyDelete