Today of all days I feel awful. The TV is on I am trying to get one toddler to nap my ideas of messy play are out the window as I'm too tired to deal with it all out. It's blooming hard work. It all started with three children whinging and whining, "im hungry" "I'm thirsty I don't like cereal I want toast" all the usual np anger mixed with gale force winds out side and heavy rain. The prospect of walking to school did not fill me with joy. The fighting continued over who got to watch there programs and it goes on and on. Thankfully after we left for school my friend offered to take my eldest to school meaning I could take two screaming toddlers home as they didn't not like the rain cover.
They then continue to fight all morning more shouts of "I'm hungry and thirsty" continue and I can not wait till bed time tonight. See I've been solo parenting for about a week now the only two days my hubby was home I spent working long days to make up my hours. It's not always like this though solo parenting is hard. Not seeing another adult in days is hard. Spending too much time on social media and ignoring the kids for a few minutes becomes the reg and before you know it you have wasted another day.
Thankfully rubbish days are few and far between and there are days where I'm full of energy and ideas but lately I'm not. I'm a tired mum who is after a nap and a nice hot tea. I love my kids don't get me wrong but I am actually missing adult interaction. I'm missing talk that doesn't involve Ben and holly or Minecraft. I'm waiting for my hubby so I can share the load. I have a lot of respect for single mothers or parents who have to go solo all the time with partners that work away. I was a single parent for many years and I took it in my stride but now I miss my husband.
It's a short time this parenting before we know they will be away and I Will be alone. I won't have to tidy up 16 million times a day and I can sort my self out. Sounds like a dream come true but I Bet I would swap in a heart beat to go back to now. The time where the kids are small and loved to cuddle. The time when they didn't worry or know the rubbish that comes with being grown up. So I'm glad these days are few because they are pants, I need my energy back and to stop wallowing that I feel tired. Enjoy e kids and enjoy life.
See I'm not a failure I'm just tired. Tired of the same old same, I just need a bit of energy and a bit less time looking at a screen then I can be the mother I want to be. The mum that plays with her children and teaches them the right things, I'm trying my best I really am.
Yours sincerely one tired NoT a failure mum.