You see it shared on Facebook, posts about children who have choked on grapes or other random things and you never think it will be your child. You think these things are very rare that when they do happen that ice cold fear grips your heart and panic sets in. See I have let my children eat most things, doing baby led weaning you know they generally gag when they can't swallow something.
See yesterday this happened to me, we were at a children's party and my Son came up to me red faced and panic in his eyes. This image I can not seem to shift from my mind his eyes piercing into me, pleading with me to help. Time seem to freeze as I toyed up what was I going to do.
Is he crying?
No why isn't he crying?
Whats happened now?
Shit he isn't breathing.
Shit he is choking. what am I going to do!
Wait remember that baby resus training I had when pregnant with Asti 9 years ago lets try that.
NO stuff that just going to wallop him in the back.
IT was like my body wasn't mine, motherly instincts took over. I was so scared but I turned him over my arm and smacked his back so hard, too hard. Heat rising up my body making me want to pass out. Dread that he couldn't get what ever it was out. What would we do next, would we need an ambulance, my friend Andy was there he is a paramedic do I shout for him?
I am a qualified nurse, I should know what I should be doing but your own child, all that calmness you may have on the ward is gone and your thinking with your heart. Suddenly my hits get harder, my fear is getting more intense. I am praying in my head its all too much.
Thankfully after a few more pats he dislodged part of a sweet, with a bit of vomit.
Never have I been glad to see vomit, his face still changing getting redder back over to the banging of the back. Till finally he was really sick and another part of a Haribo Strawb sweet came out. He then cried and I knew he would be fine. Relief rushed though me and I hugged him so close. Holding back the tears as I knew I was surrounded by people. Wanting to hold my baby my little son son and sob. Happy tears, cross tears for letting him eat the sweets in the first place.
Time has never gone so slowly in my life, I have never been so fearful in my life.
Thankfully for us we had a good outcome but he could have been anywhere choking on a sweet, in the middle of a park, in a different room. It is safe to say we will never be having Strawb sweets again. That was one experience I do not want to do again.
Blooming scary five minutes then he was fine and happy to eat anything and everything again. Except he was a bit more clingy than normal, he was scared. We both were, thankfully I was calm and we had a good outcome. SO frigging scary, even typing this post I have tears in my eyes. My little baby I would do anything to protect him,
SO lesson to learn watch kids eat sweets and do not buy Strab haribo sweets ever again.