Here is me getting ready for work, the sky is dark, the babies are in bed and all I am thinking is let me get back into bed and have a pj day with my kids. In case you are here for tips I have none, I get up go to work for 13 hours and come home completely missing my babies, hoping they are still awake when I get home. Sometimes I am a little bit loud in the morning in the hope of waking one of them so I can give them a massive hug before I set of my day. The three set of clothes set out for my husband to dress the kids all ready for them, all in a row some days its relief its not me sorting them but most days its sadness that I am not there.
I get to work and suddenly lost in a wave of business but every now and again will sneak of to text my husband, find out how the babies are, were they happy going into nursery. I text my husband to make sure he isnt late getting them from nursery, I text him making sure he has 3 different school/ nursery bags along with lunch bags, drinks, PE kits and all the extras. I text him to find out what they eat, what they do, my heart aches to be there too.
Its bedtime and most often I am still busy at work I do not call, I should but often I miss bedtime as I am so rushed to try and finish on time. The reason why I work 13 hour shifts to get more time at home.but it pains me to be away so long, my control is gone handed to my able husband. I spent 2 years at home and now suddenly I have a different type of freedom. The freedom working can give you, the chance to have a hot tea and eat some lunch on your own. Uniform does not have hand prints on or a line of felt tip, although I wish it did.
Do not get me wrong I do enjoy working, but a huge part wants to be at home with my babies. I am learning to hand over control and not to text my husband all day, not to cry at work, not to hide in the stock cupboard looking at pictures and videos. As I get busy at work I often do forget about them for a while, forget I am a mum with a massive pile of washing waiting for me. It is never for long and I am back in the world of all the fun.
This was a random post but I felt I had to type and get it our of my system somehow so excuse me if my dyslexic brain is all over the place. Its kind of where my head is at. If your a working mum/ dad does it get better? I was never like this with just 1 child but now 3 its alot to manage sometimes!
