The Do's and Dont's of going to the park (with kids)

I added that (with kids) in the tittle because as I wrote it I thought maybe someone maybe click it hoping of some creepy tips for going to the park. Sorry if you are sadly this post is hoping to raise a laugh and share a bit of humour in the mundane things we parents have to put up with. For me I don't mind the park on a sunny day but I loathe it in the winter. I suppose I should say the kids love it so therefore I do too... but we all know thats not true. So here I am kicking off a list because we all love lists.

DO dress appropriately for the park.

DONT put your children in good clothes or even shoes because they will get ruined, well my kids enjoy destroying clothes.


DO take pictures of the kids at the park.

DONT instagram the photo straight away and forget the child to find them really high up dangling off the slide or worse in someones handbag (that's never happened..)

Typical Swing pic!

DO take food children are always hungry when active.

DONT take food because you will be a target for seagulls and dogs! Believe me Ive been nipped in the finger before from a hungry seagull after my pastry. The git.

DO encourage your child to break new boundaries by climbing up the high slide.

DON'T be browsing face box or instagram and not notice that first achievement (sorry kids).

One of the many slide pictures I have obtained over the years. 

DO take friends along with you.

DON'T think you will get time to chat to them as your child is the one out the gate every two minutes.


DO remember the park is a good place to make friends.

DONT talk to anyone the park if they are there without children or dogs, or sometimes don't talk to anyone that is my motto. Some how they always find me and tell me there problems. Once I had someone ask if they could follow me in which I did decline the offer.

DO take a magazine and read it smugly from the bench.

DONT take a magazine if you have a toddler as they will never let you read it. Or do what my children do and as soon as you open it they need a wee, a drink, some food or they are tired. Sometimes all at once please kids give me some peace.

DO take plenty of photos especially of slides people love them.

DONT forget that the kids are there to enjoy themselves not to pose at every angle, move for the best lighting and have a massive smile.

DO tell them not to climb up the slide it delays the other kids and you will get evils from the other parents.

DONT forget that its a great achievement to climb up that massive slide, it takes a lot of skill and fearlessness to get up there, no matter how much the Old grannie wants to report you to social services.


DO take some toys depending on the length of the park stay at the park.

DONT expect your child to cry when some big kid has stolen there Buzz and won't give it back. Leaving you to try and communicate with Facebook mum, oye love watch your kids.


DO wear wellies and old clothes that you do not mind them wrecking.

DONT let the kids wear the new clothes you got them, yes the park is a nice setting to show of those new zara leggings but what you don't know is that they hate those tee pee leggings and want to cover the knees with mud!!



DO make sure they play with there siblings.

DONT encourage them ganging up on other kids, an example of this a child pushes one off your children then the other who could have been fighting with the sibling moments before will stick uo for that other said sibling as if they have been tight for years. Advice to other kids do not mess with toddler siblings at the park you will NEVER win.


DO watch out for rubbish at the park.

DONT forget that sometimes youth/ people/ animals use the park in the night so unless you want your toddler eating cigarette stubs and swinging the dregs of white lightning be vigilant.

DO dress appropriately regarding the weather, there is nothing worse than standing freezing cold at the park, or the opposite boiling hot. Ive risked the unshaven arm pit shame on more than one occasion.

DONT forget the children, those other parents beady eyes will be on you quicker than the kids on the ice cream man if your kids is wearing no shoes, or no hats on a sunny day. Not that we are too fussed we once went to the park and my son had odd shoes and girls leggings. Oh dear.


SO here we are a little list of advice for going to the park. If you have anything you would like to add feel free or even some funny stories Please share I love writing these posts they make me laugh so so much.

Ten Reasons To Love Mothers

I love it when you talk to someone who doesn't have kids, there view on kids is rather jolly and rose tinted glasses rubbish. They have no understanding of the pressure kids put on you. I sometimes in coffee shops look at couples of friends lounging away wasting hours in coffee shops and am wondering what it would be like, whilst I pull out every single snack to contain all the kids so I have enough time to drink a hot drink. So here is a list on reasons to love mums ( a little bit more).

SLEEP

Depending on what age your child is as soon as they are born, poor mums loose the ability to sleep for about 18 years plus. To start of there is the getting up every few hours to feed a little baby, you then as the child gets bigger get woken up with requests like I need a wee or my toe hurts. You may if your lucky have some good sleep except waking up the odd night to forgotten homework or washed PE kit for the morning. Then you may have a teenager I am not there but I can only imagine (from my own youth) of waiting up till the yoof get in, oh I can not wait!!!! So if you see a mum with large bags give her a break. Dont give her matchsticks just give caffine!

FOOD

Us mums try so blooming hard to get the kids to eat healthy. We really do but there are the days where you find us in Mac Donalds Big Mac in hand finishing up all the left overs of the kids happy meals, we do not mean too but there is something about left overs. I grew up always finishing a plate I can not leave food! Fruit with toddlers is cut up into shapes to get them to eat it, they do not and continue to throw it on the floor, fruit is put in the school lunch box to come back bruised and unloved. Same with dinners too it doesnt matter what it is it ends up on the floor anyway. So stop 

moaning what were eating and help with that dust pan and brush, thank you dear.

WASHING

Have you ever heard the phrase "oh I spent the whole day doing washing you would be amazed how much washing 1 person has". (Well I have not either I made it up but you get my point hopefully). I can tell that lady I wash and wash and wash and still am forever washing. I have a mound of clothes in the hall waiting to be put away a mountain to be washed it NEVER STOPS. So to be helpful fold it all thanks, you wont moan then.

HOUSEWORK

Oh your house is so tidy I am not jel at all, is not a thought I have I often think how long would it take my three to trash your home. Jokes I do not really.... I tidy all day long then just before my someone comes round it all comes out again (is my excuse). Its a game to pull the toy box out as soon as its put back isnt it. Just do not look to closely or touch anything it could be sticky. I try hard but am easily defeated, time and time again! So put up with toys and junk its all good in the hood and all that. 

FIRST AIDER

I am a dab hand with a syringe I have you know, can draw up a accurate dose of calpol in no time at all. I can steri strip and stick plaster over most cuts, cold flannel to the head. I now with three kids feel like I am good with the skills I have learnt. Keeping kids cool with a fever and tricks to help stop itching I am full of advice to un wanting mothers who do not like to hear it. I am a mini pharmacist look in my medicine cupboard I can dose you up (for coughs nothing illegal OK). I do have the advantage of being a nurse meaning my children will never get a day off school! So do not mug me off I may be able to help you one day with my skillz.

CHILDRENS CLOTHES SALE NINJA

DO NOT GET IN THE WAY OF A MUM IN A NEXT SALE, it will end badly. You see we want the best for our children and wearing good quality clothes and feel like you are saving money sends mothers like me feral. Going to a next sale in the morning to get some jeans and coming out with some clothes you wrestled of someone is a task in its self. I myself have been to the next sale but sadly never had to fight someone I am far too scared, I wait for the next sale assistant to bring clothes out and pounce on those!

WILL LAUGH AT ANYTHING

Days at home with a small child can be fun, but some days you long for a more intellectual conversation. Talks about why Daddy is at work or why does the postman put letters through the letterbox are riveting but they sure can be funny. By tea time of being at home weird things get funny like a toddler having a tantrum or a random smile, kids have the ability to make you happy no matter what they do. EXCEPT drawing on the walls that never makes mummy laugh, never.

SECRET POWERS

See us mums do have secret powers, we know when kids are up to no good and when to grab a quick nap on the sofa. The last one maybe not so much so. Our kids not always best behaved at times do get caught out and our special alarm system (aka the child is too quiet) goes off and they get caught. We being the equivalent of the caped crusaders feel like we saved the world for another day. 

THE ART OF THE STRAIGHT FACE

This is something you learn very quickly the ability to tell your child off for something you are proud of really. You have to sneak out the room before laughing and the child not learning. Its hard but can be used in all situations. Especially when in the night they  wake and you pretend to sleep and when your husband asks did you hear the babies in the night you say oh I must have slept through that (never happened here, we both never pretend long enough before one of us gives in). It also works well for pretending your interested in a conversation ( of course Ive never done that!) 

LOVE

We love our children no matter what, and one thing no mother like is criticism of her child. To the mum her child is the best in the class, cutest and cleaverist. We wont have it any other way. When they are not its ok because we love them lots and think they are anyway. The love that would make us do anything to help our children. The love that causes our children to be embarrassed at the school gates as apparently they are too old for a kiss good bye! So do not mention anything bad if you do not want a black eye (just a warning). 

So here are some reasons to love Mums, they are awesome (I am a Mum I am biased).